Today I was speaking to another new wife about the differences between pre- and post- wedding. Many people ask me if it’s different and I feel that there is some small differentiation despite having known each other for 1.5 years beforehand and lived together for 99% of that.
First, there’s both a comfort and a fear with knowing that this is permanent and I’m not going anywhere. I spent 20 years dating men for 6-8 months and when it wasn’t working, I ended the relationship. It’s great to know that we are both in this for the long haul and we’re interested in making it work. Unfortunately, when it’s not so easy to resolve a disagreement, it’s frustrating to not just get up and leave. Fortunately, it’s worth it and I’m confident that I’d like to find a solution with him.
Second, there’s a fun component of being able to plan holidays and other arrangements far in advance! I also moved 19 times in those 20 years so I never knew if I would be in the same city at a certain time in the future. My husband has a local business so I know that we’ll be in LA almost for sure and all the time. I can make plans and stick to them.
Lastly, I love getting gadgets and things that say “we’re married”. For example, I just got him a double phone charger for his car and every time I look at it, I giggle. I know that the second USB outlet is for me and no one else. I also joke when I get in the car because his passenger seat is always full of papers. I tell him it’s a giveaway that he’s not having an affair and cleaning that seat on a regular basis :).