Recently, my husband has had some friends over on Saturday morning to help install our new security camera system. They are very nice, but they are also noisy. When I am trying to get some work done, I need to have it be completely quiet.
At the same time, I know that my husband likes to go to the firing range sometimes on the weekend. My Dad has been hearing impaired since his thirties because he didn’t wear good ear protection during his experience in ROTC. Now, we’re having to deal with hearing aids and an almost complete loss of this sense.
Thus, I got a set of earblock headphones that we can both use. I use them when my husband is in the house and he uses them when he goes out!
This week I finished catching up on the only HBO series that had me hooked, Girls. I watched a few episodes when it first came out and I loved it, but I didn’t have HBO. Now that it is available on Amazon, as well as HBONow, I was able to get back to my obsession. There have only been two or three times in my life when I was drawn in so closely to a show and this was one of those times.
While I was watching Girls last night, my husband was watching YouTube videos on survival and camping gear. He loves watching homemade videos from other “gadget geeks” who compare products and best practices for living in times of distress. Last night, they couldn’t stop talking about this awesome emergency whistle. As mentioned, all of our friends know that if there was ever an earthquake or riot in Los Angeles, our house would be the place to come. We have enough food and first aid gear to supply an army for a few weeks.
As we split up last night to watch our own shows, I was reminded how there are clear differences between boys and girls. It’s genetic where he loves to surround himself with equipment, survival items, and camping gear. I, on the other hand, was much more content with watching young women experience their twenties via career, relationships, and makeup. There are some things that are just ingrained in us as humans.
When I first had the idea of getting a dog, I had no idea how my life would change so much. This week, as I put an organizer on the backseat of my passenger seat in the car, I realized that my life is no longer the same.
Maggie now not only has a definitive place in the car for her “things”, but she has a permanent stamp on my life. Her leash, bowl, and snacks all are organized in special pockets so that I can easily grab them when we are on the run. I got this organizer because I was tired of fishing around the backseat when I needed something. Initially, I thought that I would rarely reach for these items, but after many frustrated moments, I decided my time without an organizer had come to an end. In my mind, these were for mothers and hoarders, but alas I had become a doggie mother and I could no longer deny it.
I also have changed my lifestyle in that I no longer travel as much and I choose projects based on how much time I can spend at home and/or take her with me. Although she is fine staying at home for hours by herself, I don’t like to leave her. She is much happier when either we are home with her or she can come with us. If I have an option, I always choose to take her with me. Good bye are the days of jetting off to Europe at a moment’s notice or being out all day in town. To be more grounded was a big part of why I got her, but I didn’t think she would go with me everywhere I go.
If I think back to when I decided to adopt Maggie over three years ago, I had no idea how my life would change. It’s certainly different and it’s certainly better. Despite now having an organizer in my car and seeing the airport less, it’s improved. Seeing her face everyday and sharing this joy with my husband, who also doesn’t travel much, is worth it’s weight in gold.
My husband LOVES his new charging cable that advertises itself as “lighting fast”. There isn’t often a time when I surprise him with a new gadget that he wasn’t aware of beforehand. He runs a business that prides itself on knowing all the latest technologies in home appliances and systems. When I came home with this strange looking cable, we weren’t sure initially how to use it.
Then, when we plugged it in and his phone was charged in half the time, he was sold. I love the idea that I can still often surprise him in small ways. It’s not often, but it’s cool when it happens!
Very often when we think of “hidden” ingredients, we think of transfats, sugars, and other bad things for us. In our household, I bake by adding good things…chia seeds, maka powder, and today, vegan protein powder.
My husband things of vegetables as things “that food eats”. Thus, I have taken to “hiding” ingredients in things that he will eat.
Today, I made blueberry muffins and they are a hit. I added the protein so they are more filling and have a longer burn rather than carb-only treats.
Over the last few months, I have been hemming and hawing over what I’d like to do to celebrate my 40th birthday this year. In the past, I haven’t been one to make a big to-do about big birthdays, but somehow this year I felt it important. We don’t turn 40 often and it feels like a big milestone in some ways. Perhaps my dad articulated it the best when he said “I can’t believe I have a daughter who is 40.”. Where does the time go?
One of my favorite things to do these days is go camping with my husband. It’s great because it gets us out of town for a few days for a change of scenery, we get to spend time together with limited distractions, and we get out into nature where it’s peaceful. I’ve never camped before I met him, but we’ve gone 6-8 times over the past year.
Thus, for the big birthday, I decided that we should go camping and to a place that we haven’t been to yet. Normally, I make the reservations, but I want part of it to be a surprise and the place where we are going is also a little complicated to navigate so I thought it better to leave it up to him. I am very much looking forward to the trip.
Lastly, part of the trip, besides the planning, is getting all of our things together that we’ve collecting over the past few weeks for the trip. We have new gadgets to try out such as a great new lightweight shovel that collapses, as well as a new shirt that my mother-in-law got me from REI.
I am very fortunate that my husband enjoys wearing his wedding band. I know that many men prefer to not wear rings and thus it’s common that they decide to leave their bands at home except for special occasions. At our wedding his mom kept saying “I’ve waited 52 years for this day!”. I think that is perhaps the same reason he wears it. He waited a long time to get married and to have the privilege of wearing a band. For men who don’t wear bands, there are many reasons. This is just the reason that he wears his.
Last week, I got him a “spare” in the chance that his gold band may be difficult to wear when lifting heavy machinery or doing something active. He had complained once that it cut him and that he’s forming a calous below the band, but he still continued to wear it. I got him a version that’s made out of silicone and he loves it. He loves knowing that if he’s going to be doing something difficult with his hands one day, he has an option. Again, I am grateful that wearing his band is something that he highly prioritizes because it’s mine too.
This idea made me also think a lot about how women my age will often leave their engagement rings at home and wear their bands only on a daily basis. It made me stop when I went to get a custom band to match my engagement ring before the wedding. If I were to join that “band-only” club, it may look funny to have a curved band rather than one that goes straight across.
I took votes from my girlfriends and then looked at my ring. The stone wasn’t so highly elevated that it would get caught often and I too had waited a long time to get it (39 years). I decided to continue wearing the engagement ring after we were married and I’m very happy about it. I don’t judge those who wear only the band or those who don’t wear anything at all, but for my husband and I, we are very excited to have them.
I was never very good in English during my studies in high school. I always struggled to find the deeper meaning behind stories by Shakespeare or other famous authors. I much preferred my math and science classes where the answers were black or white.
Last week, I received a beautiful poster of famous English sonnets and I love it. Although I still have a hard time figuring out exactly the meaning of each one, I think them very romantic and peaceful. I hung the poster right outside our bedroom to usher in feelings of love, romance, and togetherness. I’ve studied some Feng Shui and I believe this falls in line with their teachings.
A friend of mine also likes poetry and I’m going to quote one here he shared by e.e. cummings. It makes me stop and reflect, just like the poster. I now know why people support the arts because they bring a special type of quiet gift to our everyday lives.
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent to fail
it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea
love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive
it is most sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
My husband and I both love coffee. It’s not the typical caffeine fix that we adore, but the taste, the process, and the art of quality beans. We spend time reviewing different roasters, grinders, and also different types of milk to complement the bean. One could say we like looking at coffee like some people review wine.
Thus, we have three or four ways to make coffee in our house from a drip pot, to an Italian espresso stove top gadget, to a French press, and finally, his much loved Pasquini espresso machine. He got it a few years ago as a gift from a client and we use it everyday. It’s the type typically used in Italian cafes and we love it.
My niece asked a few months ago if I operated the Pasquini since my husband and I both adore the coffee it makes. I realized that I leave the operating of heavy machinery to him and I just help prepare the cups. I probably could do it, but it takes some muscle to get the metal cup to sit very tight in order to let it drip properly.
I realized that there are some things in the house that I like to leave up to him. He takes out the garbage, he makes a large majority of the income, and he grills. The rest of other things are left up to me.
As I move through the stages of a new marriage after 39 years of being single, I find it so interesting how women and men take on different roles. They are created by nature and nurture. Each couple has to find a route that works for them. I am grateful that I love my husband and I also love his coffee.
Today I was speaking to another new wife about the differences between pre- and post- wedding. Many people ask me if it’s different and I feel that there is some small differentiation despite having known each other for 1.5 years beforehand and lived together for 99% of that.
First, there’s both a comfort and a fear with knowing that this is permanent and I’m not going anywhere. I spent 20 years dating men for 6-8 months and when it wasn’t working, I ended the relationship. It’s great to know that we are both in this for the long haul and we’re interested in making it work. Unfortunately, when it’s not so easy to resolve a disagreement, it’s frustrating to not just get up and leave. Fortunately, it’s worth it and I’m confident that I’d like to find a solution with him.
Second, there’s a fun component of being able to plan holidays and other arrangements far in advance! I also moved 19 times in those 20 years so I never knew if I would be in the same city at a certain time in the future. My husband has a local business so I know that we’ll be in LA almost for sure and all the time. I can make plans and stick to them.
Lastly, I love getting gadgets and things that say “we’re married”. For example, I just got him a double phone charger for his car and every time I look at it, I giggle. I know that the second USB outlet is for me and no one else. I also joke when I get in the car because his passenger seat is always full of papers. I tell him it’s a giveaway that he’s not having an affair and cleaning that seat on a regular basis :).