For the past year, I could see that my hair was in need of a cut. The ends were split and damaged. At the same time, I knew that I wanted to have long hair for my wedding. In my mind, long hair looked more romantic and this was how I wanted to be pictured by my guests on my wedding day. Thus, I made-do with only a half-inch trim off the bottom when it truly needed three to four.
Then, after I got married, I still found myself hesitant to cut it despite my intention to do it immediately. After growing it for so long for the wedding, I felt like it symbolized the honeymoon phase of my marriage. In some way, cutting it meant that my marriage would then hit the “reality” track and the dreamy or romantic part would be over.
Last week, I looked in the mirror and I just couldn’t stand it any longer. It was starting to look unkempt and unprofessional in my mind. I went to the salon and told them to not show me how much they were going to cut to make it healthy again until it was done. I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
It’s not only my wedding where I placed emotional value on the length of my hair. In 2007, I started to teach yoga and in my mind all good yoga teachers had short pixie cuts. I loved that hairstyle and although I still teach yoga today with long hair, I have fond memories of starting my career confidently with a look that I felt matched the stage of life that I was in.
When I walked out of the salon last week, I looked in the mirror and realized that maybe I am past my true honeymoon days, but now I look like the new wife that I am. I look hip, stylish, and well-looked after. I am now responsible for a family and this cut demonstrated that in my mind.
It’s funny how material things like hair often shift our mind-set. At this stage, I’m looking forward to taking good care of my shorter locks because I’m very happy to be where I am. I got some new pure moroccan argan oil from Swiss Botany and that’s exactly what I am going to use. I am a new wife and that’s exactly who I am.
There have been so many times that I have gone to the airport biting my fingernails in hopes that my luggage wouldn’t be overweight. It’s not that I overpack, but with so many of my transcontinental moves, I seem to be continually transporting lots of items in a suitcase.
This week, I received a device that allows you to weigh your luggage accurately at home before you leave for the airport. When it arrived, I felt I was able to sigh with relief. Although I no longer travel as much, I still have things in storage in multiple countries so I am sure my days of luggage at the weight limit are not yet completely over. There is nothing worse than having to open up your baggage on the floor at check-in to transfer items from one bag to another in order to avoid the $100 penalty fee.
Avoiding that chaos by receiving this gadget reminds me of the value of preparation. Both of my parents are very organized. They not only pack ahead of time with accuracy, but also eat three meals a day at approximately the same time. I’m looking forward to a visit from my Dad in June because I realize how relaxing this framework can be.
I love knowing that so many details will be looked after. I so much enjoy sitting down to eat rather than grabbing something on the way to my next appointment. I realize life can sometimes be hectic, but creating organization and structure can create so many rewards. It allows us to think more clearly, make more educated decisions, and certainly spend less money on last minute purchases.
Lastly, these days I am not only traveling less, but I am thinking more about creating my own family. I hope that one day I can be this solid rock of consistency for my children. I hope that they know they can get three balanced meals in our house a day. I very much also hope that they will travel and often. I just hope to also lend them my new digital scale.
Last week my little dog developed a skin allergy and I told this to my new sister-in-law. She and I come from different backgrounds in that she married her high school sweetheart, had kids in her twenties, and completed her associate’s degree. She lives a few miles from the town where she grew up.
I, on the other hand, spent twenty years after high school traveling and dating. I live 3000 miles from my hometown, but have also lived 3000 miles in the opposite direction. I’ve moved between both places four to five times in my life. When I met Carmi, I wasn’t sure what we might have in common.
When I told her last week about Maggie, she quickly suggested that we add a probiotic to her diet to help with the allergy. Despite coming from different worlds, we share a passion for natural and holistic healing. Today, we trade ideas for how to care for people and the home in ways that try to avoid chemicals, additives, and artificial ingredients. When Carmi suggested the probiotic, I was so grateful because I hadn’t thought of that.
My husband is so excited to get his new iPhone6 in a few weeks. For Valentine’s Day, I got him the armband accessory for his upcoming new gadget. As we get used to our new marriage, I see this as a symbol of what it means to negotiate.
My husband used to love getting the newest items immediately after they came out. This year, I convinced him to wait a few months until his contract was up for renewal with our cell phone provider so that he would get a deep discount on the phone. We discussed it a few times and he slowly agreed.
By buying him the accessory, my intention is to show him how excited for him I am and how appreciative that he agreed to wait.
As I could have guessed, marriage is very much a give and take. In my previous relationships, I saw this too, but being married sets a much more serious and committed tone to the discussion. In the past, I always knew there was a way out, but here there isn’t.
Pressure can result from knowing that we will need to find an agreement somehow.
What I have found is that communicating clearly is so important. For us both, we now need to consider each other, as well as our future family, while before we didn’t need to consider much more than ourselves.
Fortunately, I feel like I chose someone with whom I am comfortable discussing issues. For me, this was the most important “quality” of someone that I was looking to marry. And best of all, I like gadgets too.
-Canned goods or dehydrated food with expiration dates at least two to three years in the future
-Five gallons of water
-Five gallons of rice
-An alternate meeting place five minutes from our house in the chance we can’t get home
-An extra pair of sneakers in our car in the chance that we have to walk home
I am grateful to my husband for preparing us despite my often teasing him about his “hobby”. Before I met him, I never knew there were so many people creating products, solutions, and preparations for “what if”.
This made me think some about what is needed mentally if something were to happen such as an earthquake or riot. In my opinion, preparing to react is just as important to ensure we can put all the goods to use. For me, I put this on my list:
I realize it is a single thing, but I feel it is the one thing necessary. I foresee many people forecasting what could happen or stress because of so many unknowns. We could run a million scenarios in our head, but it’s important to stay present.
At the same time, if people around you start to panic, it’s important not to get pulled in that direction. It will be important to stay up-to-date on the media, but not to let it overwhelm us.
Since all of his friends also are aware of his pastime, if something ever happens, I am sure our house will become a headquarters for many people who haven’t planned. My plan is to help them stay here and be present. If you find yourself in an emergency situation, I hope you can find a way to stay calm too.
When I was a child, I was very involved in raising money for Jump Rope for Heart by the American Heart Association. I remember having matching outfits with my childhood friend because we both raised enough money by jumping continuously for a few hours to receive sweatpants and a sweatshirt.
At the time, I think I was motivated by the cool outfit, but also by knowing that jumping rope was a task that would be fun to do with friends. This week, I was asked to try out the latest and greatest of jump ropes. As a fitness professional now, I am happy to test out new gear, but jump ropes is a piece of equipment that I probably haven’t touched since those days of fundraising.
When I saw the photo, I immediately knew this tool was not for children. It was metal and a quick stumble could mean perhaps a black and blue bruise on my forehead or calf. As soon as I started jumping, those fears disappeared and those days of childhood quickly came rushing back. It was so fun.
Jasmine and I had so much fun sharing activities which later expanded into selling Girl Scout cookies and then being cheerleaders in high school. When my wedding came last fall, she was the first one to tell me that she would be there. She would get a sitter for her three young children, fly 3000 miles, and ensure she was there to lead me down the aisle as a bridesmaid. I felt so fortunate.
When I created my DVDs in 2008, it was based on the premise that when people exercise together, they are clearer in mind, and then can create closer or more meaningful relationships. The organization “Jump Rope for Heart” probably didn’t have this in mind when they initiated their fundraisers, but for me, it worked. I’m so pleased to be still jumping today with my friends from those days, both in my heart and on those very important days.
After we got married, my husband and I decided that a four-night honeymoon should suffice as enough time to get away. We would be traveling a month later to go visit our families across country and we thought this would also count towards a restful experience.
What I didn’t realize is how valuable it is for a couple to escape the world after pronouncing their vows. As I am going through the many traditions of getting married, I am seeing that there is a purpose to many of these traditions, not just the honeymoon.
First, my brother-in-law clued me in about a year ago when Rod and I were thinking of getting engaged. He said that there is something special about having friends and family around when you make this commitment and he highly recommended not eloping. Up until then, I didn’t see the purpose in spending the money for a bigger wedding and was perfectly happy to do it with just our immediate family.
When my six closest girlfriends and all my cousins said they wouldn’t miss the wedding for the world and traveled from London, New York, and San Francisco to Los Angeles for the event, I saw what my brother-in-law was talking about. This was a big deal and it was so important to me to have my inner circle around. These are memories to last a lifetime and I wanted my VIPs there.
Next, I saw that the six-month standard engagement period is well worth the wait. Initially, again, I thought we could organize everything within two to three months. We’re excited to start a family so I thought this might help the timeline. When we spoke to our pastor, he highly recommended taking the six months because he said it takes just about that amount of time to prepare everything. He was right.
I was busy for each of those days and I needed every last second. In addition, it gave us time to hash out any big, last remaining projects, such as what my last name would be and how we would spend our finances. I’m very happy to have gotten these conversations completed without pressure.
Lastly, and back to the vacation time, I am still craving three to six more nights of our honeymoon. I feel that this time as a couple is precious and time that we will never have again once we do start that family. With these thoughts, I booked three long weekends away this spring for us to “catch-up” on our honeymoon time. We’ll escape the real world for a few nights with our dog, to keep this tradition.
For many years, I dreaded the thought of a blender because I eschewed cleaning it. Even if I put it in the dishwasher, I was always afraid it wouldn’t get clean enough and/or need to be hand cleaned if I wanted to use it again.
I found this ironic because for many years I also dreamed of owning a blender. I moved 18 times in 17 years and the thought of lugging one more thing to a new apartment would always stop me from buying one. In addition, I moved abroad and back a few times and it didn’t make sense to ship it due to its weight and electrical current changes between countries.
Then, when I got married this year, I was so happy to finally know that I wouldn’t be moving again for a long, long time and could finally own a blender. Not only that, but my new husband already had one in his cabinet, so now I could blend away all day.
Of course, I still didn’t blend much at the beginning of our relationship because of the “washing issue,” but last week I tried a meal that included smoothies. It was so good that I finally had to get over my fear of the blender.
First, I took out the essential ingredients – protein powder, juice, almond butter, and chia seeds. The taste was good, but I was not so impressed and was already eyeing the glass and spoon where I knew I could mix these items together just as well.
Then, I decided to add frozen fruit where I would need the sharp edges of the blender to cut these up for drinking. Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and all of a sudden this smoothie was awesome!
I realized that my not using the blender also perhaps paralleled my reluctance to stay in one place. Using the more complicated method would also require more effort and more decisions. Just like being single, using the glass and spoon was simple, non-committal, but also perhaps not as rewarding as diving into the bigger project.
That’s how I feel about my marriage now, today. It’s a bigger thing than just me. It requires a bit more effort and I can’t just pick up and move at a moment’s notice. Fortunately, the rewards are so much better. Having someone there supporting me each day is well worth getting over the fear.
Today, I went to the studio where I have been practicing for years. It’s known for the place to go for “ladies who lunch” and for so many hours I have stared at the huge rocks on the fingers next to me during “downward facing dog.”
I realize looking at others during yoga is not very yogic, but I am still human. I always wondered if I, too, one day would wear a wedding band to yoga at 11 a.m. on a Thursday when most other people are at work.
When I realized this as I set up for my first downward dog, I took a moment to be happy about where I am in life and happy with my decision to finally say “I do.” I felt very much right at home in this room of ladies.
Then, I realized, I felt right at home in this room for the past few years. Actually, nothing had really changed. I was the same person if I was married or not. Yes, I was now part of the “Mrs. Club,” but the person I am inside is just the same.
I went through my practice feeling achy and stiff, from not practicing after the activity of the wedding. Feeling achy and stiff had happened to me in other parts of my life.
It made me realize that we so often yearn for goals and think, “When I get there, life will be perfect.” In this instance, I had been saying, “When I get married, I’ll be different and better.” Actually, I’m good now and I was before, too. It also made me realize that maybe that’s the reason he married me :).