I discovered a new technology this week that I feel really makes me life so much easier. I believe it’s been around for a few years, but it was the first time that I paid and printed my own packing labels at home without the need for the post office. After spending so many quality hours with my local postal worker last fall during the wedding-prep phase, I am happy to no longer need their time or service. I am self-sufficient!
I logged onto www.usps.com and immediately there is a place to create your own shipping labels. I entered the weight and within a few clicks, I was checked out and taping my label to my box. Fortunately, I have a fantastic kitchen scale at home too that helps me figure out an accurate weight.
I love when these old rituals, such as visiting the post office, enter the 21st century. There is a way to make our lives easier and technology does that. During my 15+ year tenure in the software industry, I was always proud to be able to bring products to people that helped streamlined their lives and their businesses. I am now so glad to be a customer of this advancement and am very supportive of the USPS in making these strides.
I am very fortunate that my husband enjoys wearing his wedding band. I know that many men prefer to not wear rings and thus it’s common that they decide to leave their bands at home except for special occasions. At our wedding his mom kept saying “I’ve waited 52 years for this day!”. I think that is perhaps the same reason he wears it. He waited a long time to get married and to have the privilege of wearing a band. For men who don’t wear bands, there are many reasons. This is just the reason that he wears his.
Last week, I got him a “spare” in the chance that his gold band may be difficult to wear when lifting heavy machinery or doing something active. He had complained once that it cut him and that he’s forming a calous below the band, but he still continued to wear it. I got him a version that’s made out of silicone and he loves it. He loves knowing that if he’s going to be doing something difficult with his hands one day, he has an option. Again, I am grateful that wearing his band is something that he highly prioritizes because it’s mine too.
This idea made me also think a lot about how women my age will often leave their engagement rings at home and wear their bands only on a daily basis. It made me stop when I went to get a custom band to match my engagement ring before the wedding. If I were to join that “band-only” club, it may look funny to have a curved band rather than one that goes straight across.
I took votes from my girlfriends and then looked at my ring. The stone wasn’t so highly elevated that it would get caught often and I too had waited a long time to get it (39 years). I decided to continue wearing the engagement ring after we were married and I’m very happy about it. I don’t judge those who wear only the band or those who don’t wear anything at all, but for my husband and I, we are very excited to have them.
When I was in business school, I became very stressed and my hairline started to recede on the top right portion of my scalp. There was a quarter-sized piece of hair that no longer existed. It was strange and scary. After seeing a dermatologist, he quickly resolved that the hair would grow back after the semester was over and using shampoo to promote hair growth. He was right, it did.
That next semester, I took one less class on my load, traveled less, and broke up with the boyfriend who was perhaps stressing me out the most. It made me realize that stress effects our body in so many strange ways. When my husband asked me this week if the new shampoo (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00V3SFN3C) we got will help his receding hairline, I told him that products like this helped me a lot when I was in school with this condition…along with the decrease in stress.
As some of you know, I’ve been trying to get pregnant for about five months and it hasn’t yet clicked. When I visit the acupuncturist, they continue to say they see signs of stress in my body. My hairline isn’t receding, but my tongue seems to have some Chinese traits that show stress.
This time around, I’m not in school, I’m not traveling, and I’m very happy in my relationship. At the same time, I probably do still have stress in my life. I just finished managing a large wedding, I am in a new marriage, and I’m putting pressure on myself to get pregnant asap.
I’m hoping to also resolve this issue with time. There’s no shampoo to help, but I’m going to go to yoga classes more often, spend time walking with my dog, and doing things that I purely enjoy. Hopefully, by the end of next semester, we’ll have better news.
My husband is very selective about which photos we send to family, post to Facebook, etc. Not only does he want to make sure all participants look as good as possible, but he also wants to ensure the shot is appealing to the eye. It needs to be centered and have photographic traditional qualities.
I see his point, but sometimes I just want to get the shot out there. I want people to see the bright and shiny faces and get a feel for where we were. Thus, in our marriage, we’ve been learning to negotiate. I post less photos to Facebook, I let him take more photos, and he lets me send out more photos than he traditionally would.
This week we got a selfie stick which is something that I have been wanting for a long time. Now we can take lots more photos when we don’t have someone to click the button for us. I love it. Here we are trying it out. I’m sure he doesn’t love this photo, but I’m putting it in the bucket of photos that I’m allowed to post without much approval. It’s a small bucket, but it’s worth it because it’s part of the bigger picture, literally.
My husband teases me that I sleep for amazingly long periods of time. In reality, I think I sleep an average number of hours, but I never skimp. If I can’t get my eight hours, then I adjust my schedule so that I can get as close as I can.
Since we’ve been married, I have convinced him to turn off the television one to two hours earlier than he used to in his bachelor days. In my opinion, good rest is better than what we hear in the media. Or when we travel and the room isn’t completely dark as the sun rises, I always ensure I have a quality sleeping mask so I stay asleep. This one is one of my favorites because it doesn’t let even one ray of sun in: https://www.dreamessentials.com/product-48/sweet-dreams-sleep-mask-wcarry-pouch-and-earplugs.
One day, I meditated on why I like going to bed early and why I highly prioritize it. What came to me was that when I am asleep, good things happen. I receive the mental nourishment I need to go out during the day to complete my tasks with kindness and compassion. It makes me more genuine in my interactions and it allows me to think creatively.
To me, this made sense because in the few times that I didn’t get enough sleep, I was not so aware of others or able to pick up on subliminal messages. My mother and I use the saying “we are so out of it” or “walking zombies” when we don’t get enough rest and I feel that explains it perfectly. I can function and complete tasks by being on automatic pilot, but I certainly can’t come up with unique solutions and I often will create minor accidents in my path.
As my husband and I think about creating a family over the next year, I am not sure how I am going to adjust to being woken up multiple times during the night and living off “minimal sleep,” as my parent friends call it. I will just have to take it one day at time. All I know now is that late-night television creates a zombie out of me.
For the past year, I could see that my hair was in need of a cut. The ends were split and damaged. At the same time, I knew that I wanted to have long hair for my wedding. In my mind, long hair looked more romantic and this was how I wanted to be pictured by my guests on my wedding day. Thus, I made-do with only a half-inch trim off the bottom when it truly needed three to four.
Then, after I got married, I still found myself hesitant to cut it despite my intention to do it immediately. After growing it for so long for the wedding, I felt like it symbolized the honeymoon phase of my marriage. In some way, cutting it meant that my marriage would then hit the “reality” track and the dreamy or romantic part would be over.
Last week, I looked in the mirror and I just couldn’t stand it any longer. It was starting to look unkempt and unprofessional in my mind. I went to the salon and told them to not show me how much they were going to cut to make it healthy again until it was done. I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
It’s not only my wedding where I placed emotional value on the length of my hair. In 2007, I started to teach yoga and in my mind all good yoga teachers had short pixie cuts. I loved that hairstyle and although I still teach yoga today with long hair, I have fond memories of starting my career confidently with a look that I felt matched the stage of life that I was in.
When I walked out of the salon last week, I looked in the mirror and realized that maybe I am past my true honeymoon days, but now I look like the new wife that I am. I look hip, stylish, and well-looked after. I am now responsible for a family and this cut demonstrated that in my mind.
It’s funny how material things like hair often shift our mind-set. At this stage, I’m looking forward to taking good care of my shorter locks because I’m very happy to be where I am. I got some new pure moroccan argan oil from Swiss Botany and that’s exactly what I am going to use. I am a new wife and that’s exactly who I am.
Last week my little dog developed a skin allergy and I told this to my new sister-in-law. She and I come from different backgrounds in that she married her high school sweetheart, had kids in her twenties, and completed her associate’s degree. She lives a few miles from the town where she grew up.
I, on the other hand, spent twenty years after high school traveling and dating. I live 3000 miles from my hometown, but have also lived 3000 miles in the opposite direction. I’ve moved between both places four to five times in my life. When I met Carmi, I wasn’t sure what we might have in common.
When I told her last week about Maggie, she quickly suggested that we add a probiotic to her diet to help with the allergy. Despite coming from different worlds, we share a passion for natural and holistic healing. Today, we trade ideas for how to care for people and the home in ways that try to avoid chemicals, additives, and artificial ingredients. When Carmi suggested the probiotic, I was so grateful because I hadn’t thought of that.
My husband is so excited to get his new iPhone6 in a few weeks. For Valentine’s Day, I got him the armband accessory for his upcoming new gadget. As we get used to our new marriage, I see this as a symbol of what it means to negotiate.
My husband used to love getting the newest items immediately after they came out. This year, I convinced him to wait a few months until his contract was up for renewal with our cell phone provider so that he would get a deep discount on the phone. We discussed it a few times and he slowly agreed.
By buying him the accessory, my intention is to show him how excited for him I am and how appreciative that he agreed to wait.
As I could have guessed, marriage is very much a give and take. In my previous relationships, I saw this too, but being married sets a much more serious and committed tone to the discussion. In the past, I always knew there was a way out, but here there isn’t.
Pressure can result from knowing that we will need to find an agreement somehow.
What I have found is that communicating clearly is so important. For us both, we now need to consider each other, as well as our future family, while before we didn’t need to consider much more than ourselves.
Fortunately, I feel like I chose someone with whom I am comfortable discussing issues. For me, this was the most important “quality” of someone that I was looking to marry. And best of all, I like gadgets too.
When I was a child, I was very involved in raising money for Jump Rope for Heart by the American Heart Association. I remember having matching outfits with my childhood friend because we both raised enough money by jumping continuously for a few hours to receive sweatpants and a sweatshirt.
At the time, I think I was motivated by the cool outfit, but also by knowing that jumping rope was a task that would be fun to do with friends. This week, I was asked to try out the latest and greatest of jump ropes. As a fitness professional now, I am happy to test out new gear, but jump ropes is a piece of equipment that I probably haven’t touched since those days of fundraising.
When I saw the photo, I immediately knew this tool was not for children. It was metal and a quick stumble could mean perhaps a black and blue bruise on my forehead or calf. As soon as I started jumping, those fears disappeared and those days of childhood quickly came rushing back. It was so fun.
Jasmine and I had so much fun sharing activities which later expanded into selling Girl Scout cookies and then being cheerleaders in high school. When my wedding came last fall, she was the first one to tell me that she would be there. She would get a sitter for her three young children, fly 3000 miles, and ensure she was there to lead me down the aisle as a bridesmaid. I felt so fortunate.
When I created my DVDs in 2008, it was based on the premise that when people exercise together, they are clearer in mind, and then can create closer or more meaningful relationships. The organization “Jump Rope for Heart” probably didn’t have this in mind when they initiated their fundraisers, but for me, it worked. I’m so pleased to be still jumping today with my friends from those days, both in my heart and on those very important days.
After we got married, my husband and I decided that a four-night honeymoon should suffice as enough time to get away. We would be traveling a month later to go visit our families across country and we thought this would also count towards a restful experience.
What I didn’t realize is how valuable it is for a couple to escape the world after pronouncing their vows. As I am going through the many traditions of getting married, I am seeing that there is a purpose to many of these traditions, not just the honeymoon.
First, my brother-in-law clued me in about a year ago when Rod and I were thinking of getting engaged. He said that there is something special about having friends and family around when you make this commitment and he highly recommended not eloping. Up until then, I didn’t see the purpose in spending the money for a bigger wedding and was perfectly happy to do it with just our immediate family.
When my six closest girlfriends and all my cousins said they wouldn’t miss the wedding for the world and traveled from London, New York, and San Francisco to Los Angeles for the event, I saw what my brother-in-law was talking about. This was a big deal and it was so important to me to have my inner circle around. These are memories to last a lifetime and I wanted my VIPs there.
Next, I saw that the six-month standard engagement period is well worth the wait. Initially, again, I thought we could organize everything within two to three months. We’re excited to start a family so I thought this might help the timeline. When we spoke to our pastor, he highly recommended taking the six months because he said it takes just about that amount of time to prepare everything. He was right.
I was busy for each of those days and I needed every last second. In addition, it gave us time to hash out any big, last remaining projects, such as what my last name would be and how we would spend our finances. I’m very happy to have gotten these conversations completed without pressure.
Lastly, and back to the vacation time, I am still craving three to six more nights of our honeymoon. I feel that this time as a couple is precious and time that we will never have again once we do start that family. With these thoughts, I booked three long weekends away this spring for us to “catch-up” on our honeymoon time. We’ll escape the real world for a few nights with our dog, to keep this tradition.