For many years, I dreaded the thought of a blender because I eschewed cleaning it. Even if I put it in the dishwasher, I was always afraid it wouldn’t get clean enough and/or need to be hand cleaned if I wanted to use it again.
I found this ironic because for many years I also dreamed of owning a blender. I moved 18 times in 17 years and the thought of lugging one more thing to a new apartment would always stop me from buying one. In addition, I moved abroad and back a few times and it didn’t make sense to ship it due to its weight and electrical current changes between countries.
Then, when I got married this year, I was so happy to finally know that I wouldn’t be moving again for a long, long time and could finally own a blender. Not only that, but my new husband already had one in his cabinet, so now I could blend away all day.
Of course, I still didn’t blend much at the beginning of our relationship because of the “washing issue,” but last week I tried a meal that included smoothies. It was so good that I finally had to get over my fear of the blender.
First, I took out the essential ingredients – protein powder, juice, almond butter, and chia seeds. The taste was good, but I was not so impressed and was already eyeing the glass and spoon where I knew I could mix these items together just as well.
Then, I decided to add frozen fruit where I would need the sharp edges of the blender to cut these up for drinking. Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and all of a sudden this smoothie was awesome!
I realized that my not using the blender also perhaps paralleled my reluctance to stay in one place. Using the more complicated method would also require more effort and more decisions. Just like being single, using the glass and spoon was simple, non-committal, but also perhaps not as rewarding as diving into the bigger project.
That’s how I feel about my marriage now, today. It’s a bigger thing than just me. It requires a bit more effort and I can’t just pick up and move at a moment’s notice. Fortunately, the rewards are so much better. Having someone there supporting me each day is well worth getting over the fear.
Today, I went to the studio where I have been practicing for years. It’s known for the place to go for “ladies who lunch” and for so many hours I have stared at the huge rocks on the fingers next to me during “downward facing dog.”
I realize looking at others during yoga is not very yogic, but I am still human. I always wondered if I, too, one day would wear a wedding band to yoga at 11 a.m. on a Thursday when most other people are at work.
When I realized this as I set up for my first downward dog, I took a moment to be happy about where I am in life and happy with my decision to finally say “I do.” I felt very much right at home in this room of ladies.
Then, I realized, I felt right at home in this room for the past few years. Actually, nothing had really changed. I was the same person if I was married or not. Yes, I was now part of the “Mrs. Club,” but the person I am inside is just the same.
I went through my practice feeling achy and stiff, from not practicing after the activity of the wedding. Feeling achy and stiff had happened to me in other parts of my life.
It made me realize that we so often yearn for goals and think, “When I get there, life will be perfect.” In this instance, I had been saying, “When I get married, I’ll be different and better.” Actually, I’m good now and I was before, too. It also made me realize that maybe that’s the reason he married me :).